A symbolic picture to start off:
Perhaps that picture's not as representative of reality as it could be. Then again, maybe it is. You see, I appear to be ambling confidently toward the school, in no great hurry but with a sense of purpose. All of this was true at the time the picture was taken. However, things have changed. Instead of an unhurried amble, my journey toward law school has turned into a haphazard, faltering, crazed beeline. I moved to Ann Arbor on May 25th with the intention of beginning law school September 7th -- that's over three months, for those bad at math. Reality has turned out quite a bit differently, however. In fact, I have just today completed my first day of classes. That's about 1,200% sooner than I anticipated. The circumstances surrounding this sudden change may or may not become clear to you through the duration of this blog, but all the same my emotional mind frame can be described as follows:
Dizzy.
That is easily the best word to describe me right now. In the last week I've departed my home of the last two years, completed an epic road trip, said goodbye to the last person I've seen who I knew for more than a week, decorated my room, learned probably over 40 new names to connect with new faces, gone out with my roommates, gone out with Summer Starters, and to top it all off I have unexpectedly transformed into a Summer Starter (or member of the SS, as I call it) myself.
Yes, dizzy is exactly the right word. I need to collect my thoughts. That, in addition to providing all of you with some idear of what my life is like, is the purpose of this blog. I hope someone reads it and is entertained by the wanderings of my tired (and, with the advent of law school, about to be considerably more tired, no doubt) mind.
Saying goodbye to the Morris-ites was less difficult for waiting a week after graduation than it would have been had I left immediately on receiving my degree (or, rather, a fashionable frame informing me my real degree would be shipped to me when the University ascertained I had, in fact, passed my final classes). The last week was spent with friends, most of them friends with whom I had not spent time proportional to the affection I have for them. I was able to make up for that in some small way last week and it was very satisfying. It combined with increased time journaling to bring closure to my time at UMM. I still miss everyone very dearly, but I've at least come to accept that life moves on and Morris was never going to be a permanent mode of existence for me or most of my friends there anyway. Doesn't mean I can't miss it though.
The road trip was phenomenal, albeit quite lengthy. Every mile of northern Wisconsin and the Upper Peninsula was breathtakingly gorgeous...even the roughly 25 miles Kathy and I wandered lost on the dirt roads Wisconsiners adorn with "Rustic Route" labels, which blatantly lie that they lead back to the original path of travel. During that 25 miles, I might add, the gas gauge was precipitously close to the E side of the meter and nothing resembling civilization could be found outside our memories, and even those were fading. My suspicions that we had slipped into a primitive world devoid of humanity were confirmed when we found an ancient Norse altar along the so-called "Rustic Route." I can only guess how many innocents were slain at this crude symbol of all the baseness of human nature.
Thankfully, the natives were gone (no doubt on a strange and grisly hunt or in search of some deed wicked enough to satisfy their carnal impulses), so Kathy and I stopped to examine the tranquil wilderness of Wisconsin.
This all took place in some obscure part of the Wisconsin forest ostensibly twenty miles or so from the UP. I say "ostensibly" because I'm not sure this place actually exists in the same dimension as the world we all normally live in. No amount of reason or perusing of Rand McNally's 2010 United States Road Atlas has given me the least idea where we were when this all happened. It is physically impossible for us to have driven so far in largely the same direction and gotten essentially nowhere.
Eventually, though, we found our way and ended up in Michigan, where I couldn't even wait to get 100 yards into the state before starting to sell out.
We had a pleasant picnic off lake Michigan, after which I took over driving for the duration of the journey and Kathy took over passenger seat DJ responsibilities...which effectively consisted of playing a few songs at first, then resorting to episodes of "This American Life" and taking naps as they played. I didn't mind at all though. I got the chance to reflect on the journey I was taking and listen to an amazing radio program I'd barely encountered before. After a few episodes of "This American Life" and a stunning crossing of the Mackinac Bridge, we switched to an old cassette of Simon and Garfunkel Kathy somehow spirited out of the glove compartment. I got to listen to it play through about three times before hitting Ann Arbor. A particular highlight was when the song "America" came on, the lyrics singing, "It took me four days to hitchhike from Saginaw" as I was driving through Saginaw; then, later in the song came the words, "'Kathy, I'm lost,' I said, though I knew she was sleeping...Michigan seems like a dream to me now." It should be noted that at this time Kathy was, in fact, sleeping and I was, in fact, lost, if only in a metaphorical sense. The last stretch was peaceful and perfect. A serene ending to the road trip.
After wandering around the Ann Arbor area a while we found Prospect Street and what I presumed was my new house. There were two dudes chillin on the porch, which held two couches (excellent) and they confirmed that yes, this was 1225 Prospect and yes, one of them (Kevin) was my new roommate. The other's name was Dave, whom I've seen a couple of times since. Both of them are as cool as the other side of the pillow and neither of them law students, which may not entirely be a coincidence.
After a resoundingly insufficient night's sleep, Kathy and I briefly explored the law school together. Here is some of what we saw, although pictures scarcely do it justice:
(No doubt you'll notice the sleeve rolled up on one side of my shirt. This is due to a typically senseless and sporadic oath I made to Kathy along the way, vowing I would roll one sleeve up for the first month I'm in Ann Arbor. I am keeping that oath, and I assure you it looks every bit as ridiculous now as it did then. I speculate it is costing me friends by the day, but a Whitsett keeps his promises.)
When I entered the Reading Room and then the library it all hit me in a rush. I was Here, the place I've worked so hard to reach for so many years. All at once I remembered the feeling of utter hopelessness that defined my life just four years ago, the last time I dropped out of Ohio State. Back then I felt so lost, crushed by debt and with absolutely zero prospects for the future. Yet, there I stood in the middle of the most beautiful law school in the nation with my dreams virtually at my fingertips. I felt so incredibly lucky to be able to pursue my hopes and ambitions despite all my mistakes. At the same time I realized I was in this new place for good, and I was there with the last dear friend I would see in quite some time. The feelings of sadness, thankfulness, hope and nostalgia overwhelmed me entirely. I was completely overcome and started crying disconsolately right in the middle of the library. I simply couldn't help myself. I could barely say a word for the next 45 minutes without choking up. This still happens to me several times a day, although now I am able to control it after a few seconds.
Saying goodbye to Kathy, who has become such a close friend in so little time, was of course terribly difficult, but was managed without immediate tears. I still can't believe she drove me out here on such short notice. Anyone looking for a definition of true friendship need look no farther.
I miss all my Morris friends awfully. You are all wonderful beyond description and I think of you often.
As Kathy drove away I fought back the sadness that threatened to overwhelm me and determined I would fill my next days with adventure and brash socialization, embracing this new place and making it my own. For more on that you must await my next post. Stay tuned....
